The Tales surrounding the Lasagna incident of Currie Road

The Tales surrounding the Lasagna incident of Currie Road
Written by SarahH, Tessa Paton and Michelle Paton ‘the small’
Her Pants were Sauced!
It began as any ordinary day. It was one of those overcast, windy days and it was spitting rain gently when all of a sudden, the worst possible thing that could ever happen, happened. It was suppertime, and hot spicy lasagna filled everyone’s plate. Everyone was enjoying their meals, stuffing their faces happily with the odd conversation between bites. When all of a sudden there was a blood-curdling screech. Everyone was horrified. Every eye turned towards the traumatized victim and the ONLY eye witness spilled her story:
“Well, it was the most horrible thing ever!!” Said she, in tears. “She went to take another bite of her lasagna and then, I heard the most horrified scream from the lasagna…!”
The lasagna was said to have screamed: “Help me! I don’t want to be eaten!” and then promptly attacked the victim viciously. The victim then, in self-defense, stabbed it with her fork. And once the lasagna was efficiently vanquished, she noticed she had not escaped the battle unscathed. There was sauce on her pants!
But this was not the end, no! It was only the beginning, for there was more horror yet to come….and they didn’t even know it…yet.

She was Trying to Strangle her Sister when…
They were deep in epic conversation over the supper meal when one of them took a bite of lasagna and was momentarily possessed with sudden anger towards her sister. Being mad at her sister, she raised her arms in utter rage and went to enclose them tightly around her sister’s neck when; when the sister screamed, horrified: “Don’t touch me! There’s sauce on your hands, don’t get sauce in my beautiful golden locks!” At the world ‘golden-locks’, she (the angry attacker) jumped back and fell over her chair in horror of what she had been going to do, and what she saw on her hands. She screamed, “Why!?” and broke into tears at the sight.
And the sister joined in the shrieks and pointed (although it’s no really polite to do so, but who cares) at the strangler who was her sister and blubbered (cuz that’s a funny word) “Thou hath sauce on thy brand new shirt.”
Lightning split the suddenly black sky and lit everyone’s pale, traumatized faces.
But that, even, was still not the end of their saucy troubles. Dum dum DAH!

Saucy Fingers on the was to Child’s Mouth!…
Supper progressed as it usually did, you know… Everyone was cheerfully eating lasagna (still) and the little child had not yet touched her cereal. Concerned step relative attempted to help the child. Witness said she (step relative) said, “Here comes the airplane,” and tried to drive a pretzel into the adorable child’s mouth, when the witness’s cousin screamed, “you have sauce on your fingers!” The concerned step relative then let the pretzel fall short of the child’s mouth, hitting the deck with an unusual, but suiting loudness and opened her mouth to scream, but nothing more than a whimper came out. The child was somewhat relieved she wouldn’t be made to eat anything, but didn’t understand what was going on. You could have cut the tension with a knife, or a spoon if you really tried. The witness rose to her feet and jumped up and down in circles and screeched at the top of her lungs: “How could this happen to her?! She was so young!” and then they all drove off into the sunset towards the dry cleaners.
The End.

(None of the nameless were severely harmed during the production of these tales.)

Thank you for reading.